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Growth Online
Self-Givingness
 
Knowledge Base

by Roy Posner and MSS



-General

-Pleasure of Self-Giving

-Spiritual Nature of Self-Giving

-Self-Givingness, One's Accomplishment, and Life Response

-Self-Givingness (Miscellaneous)

-Our Level of Culture (of Behavior & Values)

-Selflessness

-Miscellaneous

-Ego vs. Non-Ego


General
(top)

Self-givingness
Self-givingness is to give of one's self, taking pleasure in another's happiness and success.

Self-givingness
Self-givingness is preoccupation with the well being of another. It is a movement of the soul.

Giving to Other's Self
Giving one's all to the OTHER person because he is a Self, is Self-Giving. ["Self" being the spiritual essence, the True Self of the person.]

Self-givingness and Soul
Self-givingness is a movement of the Soul, in which we recognize another Soul.

Self-givingness and Soul
Self-givingness issues from goodness; inherent or acquired.

Self-Giving So Others May Expand
Self-giving is one giving himself to another so that the other may expand.

Self-giving Characters from Literature
Melanie in Gone with the Wind, Jean Valjean in Les Miserables (and the priest that influenced him), and Abbe Faria in Count of Monte Cristo are examples of self-giving individuals from literature.

The Urge to Give, and to Take
The urge to give is spiritual. It is overpowering. When it takes possession of someone, it is impossible to wait, not a question of restraining.

The opposite, the urge not to give or the urge to take is equally powerful. That too is a spiritual vibration in the reverse. It is in the physical body, whereas the urge to give is seated in the Spirit and partly in the Mind.

In a sale of property such things are evident. The seller wants the highest price. The buyer wants the lowest one. It will be best for both if they have the reverse urges - the seller desiring the lowest price and the buyer wishing the highest price.
(MSS)

 

On Self-Giving
-Selfishness is universal. It often goes with meanness. We witness Selflessness often in action. It leaves its expansive touch on the onlooker. To be selfless is good, but to [actively] practice self-giving is to be SPIRITUAL.

-Self-giving expresses love, receiving it as grace from above.

-One who sees in himself the impulse of Self-giving will do well when his self-giving is directed to the Divine instead of to those around him. (MSS, slight modification) 

From Wanting to Giving
If you want encouragement, give it to others. If you want affection, love, and happiness, also give it to them. Moving from wanting to giving is the transition to higher consciousness.

Giving Connects the Part to the Whole
Giving is a strategy used by the part to relate with the other parts or to the whole. (MSS) [An individual is only a part relative to the whole of all creation. When an individual gives, he moves from his own limited part, to another part and to the whole of creation, which is too the wider truth and existence, which is in essence a spiritual movement. -editor]

The Power of Giving
T
he happiest of people are always giving of themselves to others -- by listening attentively, by focusing on their interests and concerns, by being agreeable and taking their point of view, by giving greater attention, and by showing them our gratitude, to name a few.  By taking these approaches, we will be --

  • guaranteeing that our relationships will be harmonious
  • gaining their affection, admiration, and trust
  • supporting their personal growth, achievement, and happiness
  • increasing our own joy and happiness
  • growing as individuals, and seeing our potential for further growth
  • evoking powerful positive responses from life

 

The Art of Self-Givingness

Self-giving is an egoless act of goodness and goodwill among equals that expects no return, derives no egoistic satisfaction from the giving. Giving is its own reward.

Also, every act of goodness attracts a corresponding positive outcome back to you in short order. (Note that over the years you have attracted good fortune as a result of your past givingness, though you are unlikely aware of it. Therefore, take to it more frequently, which will help others to no end, while attracting great benefit back to your person)

To be self-giving-

  • Encourage others in their endeavors and aspirations.

  • Give other more affection.

  • Give others more attention.

  • Focus on the other personís immediate concerns before insisting on your own.

  • Put yourself in their shoes, and think about their issues at the moment.

  • Take great enjoyment in their successes.

  • Be kind and patient.

  • Focus on giving, not on what you can take from others.

  • Hope and pray for the success of others.

  • In any interaction and endeavor focus on the other partyís interests, not merely your own.

  • Listen first, respond later.

  • See things from the otherís viewpoint; i.e. the truth of it, no matter how samll, instead of insisting on your position.

  • Focus on listening to anotherís position, rather than offering your opinions.

  • Feel the joy of acting on anotherís account Ė e.g. in cooking or earning, think of the benefit to the family, or other related collective.

  • Have only positive thoughts towards others; and block any negative ones.

  • Move away from selfishness.

  • Practice kindness and generosity of spirit.

  • Show compassion and empathy toward others.

  • Inwardly aspire for the success and happiness of others.

  • Shift your attitudes and values from how you can benefit to how the family, the organization, or other collective you are part of can benefit.

  • Call in the Spirit, the spiritual Force for any act of self-givingness you are practicing.

  • Move from personal ambition to fulfilling the aspirations of those you serve.

  • Practice values of openness, tolerance, service, and good-will in personal and work situations.

  • Be generous with those who deserve it. Avoid tightness and stinginess.

  • Be infinitely self-giving to your deserved customers, clients, students, peers, etc. Be willing to go the extra mile.

  • Relate to the Soul of the other person, as if you were relating to your own.

  • Imagine spiritual Light descending on others; e.g. before the meeting.

  • Well up deep positive feelings towards others and broadcast it to them from within.

  • Show compassion towards others in your immediate circle, and be helpful where you can.

  • Show deep and genuine empathy for anotherís plight.

  • Be pleasant, expansive, and ready to oblige when interacting with others.

  • Be fully willing to forgive, eliminating all ill-will one feels towards another. Better yet, take full responsibility.

  • Show deep affection, warmth, and friendship towards others.

  • Make the extra effort to help a deserved friend in need; whether in the form of support or action on your part for their sake.

  • Show genuine thanks and appreciation towards those parties who have helped you. Such gratitude always attracts.

  • Be willing to elevate anotherís success to a deserved person, even if it is at the expense of our own.

  • In any gesture of self-givingness, the intensity of the feeling and gesture is what counts; is what attracts.

  • Give, not take is the simple answer.

 

Ways to Practice Self-giving

Nothing brings out our Higher Self more than acts of self-giving. It requires constant good-will, magnanimity, generosity and strength and many other valuable personality traits. Most importantly it requires that one gets joy from the sheer act of self-giving and not always expect something in return. Giving for the joy of giving only expecting nothing in return is a quality of our Higher Self and this is not very common. Here is a sample list of way to practice such self-giving.

1. One can always give oneís help to the best of oneís ability to those around who are in genuine need of it.

2. If somebody known to us is sick and unwell, one can try to cheer them up by saying kind and encouraging words.

3. If somebody is in trouble and does not know how to solve it and he thinks that we have that knowledge and wants our advice, we can gladly give him that advice.

4. If we have come up in life and achieved a lot and others are eager to learn from our experience, we can share with them our experiences and let them know what we did to come up in life.

5. If somebody around us is sad and depressed, instead of simply ignoring it, we can take the trouble to find out what is making the person so sad and offer to pull him out of it by showing the positive and bright things in life.

6. Nothing pleases a person more than recognizing the truth in the opposite point of view whenever a difference of opinion develops.

7. One can offer a big help to a person and later on act perfectly normal as if we donít even remember that we have done a great favor.

8. If we see that somebody is in trouble and obviously needs help, we can offer it on our own without waiting for him to ask. This is the proper spirit of true-self-giving.

9. When we see somebody has achieved something substantial, we can go and liberally praise that person. Nothing pleases a person more than being praised for achieving .

10. If we are in a position of authority and there are many subordinates, instead of being afraid of any of our subordinates coming up and displacing us, we can spot out the talents in our subordinates and encourage them to come up in life using such talents. Gandhiji had that capacity to spot out talents in younger people and bringing them out. That is why he became Mahatma.

11. If we see any receptivity, we can talk to him or her about Mother and bring that person into Motherís fold and that will be a great act of self-giving.

12. If we are a family man, we can accept a policy of family first and myself next and that will be a great act of self-giving. (MSS)

 

Concern for Others
Perhaps the single most powerful way to succeed in life is to have more concern for our fellow human beings.  Normally, we are overwhelmingly concerned about ourselves, driven by our own personal motives and ambitions.  However, the happiest people literally lose themselves in the feelings, thoughts, and aspirations of others.

Are you ready to "forget yourself" and be genuinely interested in the welfare of others?  Are you willing to be tolerant and kind to others, listen attentively and silently to their words, and be non-judgmental and open to their opinions and points of view?  If you are, you're an excellent candidate for great success in life, not to mention an ever-increasing personal happiness and joy.

Try a little experiment. When you meet with others, immediately put yourself in their shoes. Think only of what they want. Listen carefully to their thoughts and feelings, and show genuine concern and empathy. Do this for the entire meeting. Now watch how the interaction goes. Watch how the energy level of the other person increases. The other individual becomes more animated and involved.

In addition, if you watch closely, you may notice some interesting things starting to happen. An unthought of point of view or perspective may be raised in the conversation. New ideas or fresh new insights are suddenly revealed. Or, a new interesting idea, project or event might suddenly come out of the discussion. This all happens because you have shifted your concern toward the other person.

But there's more. If you pay very close attention, you'll see that there might be an added "response from life."  For example, during the conversation, someone might call in a great new project to you; or a dramatic new development might arise in some area of your work. This is life itself "responding" to your concern for another person. It is a hidden power that we have witnessed dozens of times in the past. 

 

 
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A List of Taking and Giving
List out 10 moments each in your day where you were taking and several where you were giving. Understand it well, and make the necessary adjustment in future for more giving.

Identify Your Daily Selfishness and Reverse It
Identify and discover the reason for each of the reasons for your selfishness in the course of your day. Your life will come clear before your eyes, giving you ample scope to move toward greater self-givingness.

Scope of Self-Giving
Delight of being is the greatest joy one can have in life. The level of one's Delight is enhanced by the quality of our self-giving, which runs in a continuum from self-giving to others, to self-giving to the Divine, and ultimately to self-giving to the Divine in man. Unfortunately, man misses this Delight of self-giving, instead seeking the objects of life he wishes to gain; i.e. self-taking.

Self-givingness and Selfishness
Self-givingness is the opposite of selfishness.

Self-givingness Related to Other Qualities
Self-givingness is related to selflessness, generosity, goodness, self-sacrifice, and compassion.

Views of "One's Right" at Five Planes of Our Being
The way the physical feels the 'right' is when it comes into physical contact. Such men if they enjoy for a minute an article belonging to someone else, they feel it belongs to them. They feel the right to it. The vital feels that right when it likes something, the mind when it understands. A higher or better mind understands a thing as it is and does not extend its right to it. The Spirit recognises the right of others over himself and his endowments and possessions. (MSS)

The Part and the Whole as in Selfishness vs. Self-Givingness
The part and the whole have their own attitudes. The attitude appropriate to the whole is Selflessness. It can mature into self-giving. The part's attitude is selfish. Selfishness can hurt others or all. Selflessness in one can hurt no one. The selflessness of the part cannot hurt others or the whole. (MSS)

Human Giving
Human giving [as opposed to self-givingness] is as much for self-aggrandisement as the receiver's greed.
(MSS)

MSS Thoughts on Self-Givingness, Selflessness, Selfishness, Etc.

Self-giving vs. Helping
(from Romance Eternal, sister site of Growth Online)

Q: What is the difference between self-givingness and helping?  Isn't the attitude behind both same -- given out of concern for other?

A: Self-giving is an egoless act of goodness and goodwill among equals that expects no return, derives no egoistic satisfaction from the giving. Giving is its own reward. Helping arises from the idea of being good, doing good to others. It implies a sense of value in the giver, often a superiority of sorts, and a benefit in the recipient who is lucky to receive. The helper usually subtly expects a reward for goodness. True self-giving is spiritual. Helping is social or philanthropic. (MSS)

When Not to Give
In general, self-givingness is perhaps the supreme expression of spirit in life. Giving from the heart with sincerity is in infinitely short supply. At a level of purity, it expects nothing in return. It only hopes for the best for the recipient.

Giving to a person who harbors ill will however is not a good plan. You will fall victim.

Generosity is a form of self-givingness. It too is in short supply. And yet it too should go to the deserved. There are other conditions where it should be held back, such as when it is done for one's ego sense. Giving aid can also backfire, as it draws the wrath of the recipient. Appa's statements below explain these and other principles on this issue in greater detail:


Pleasure of Self-Giving
(top)

Happiness & Givingness
The happiest of people are those who are self-giving; the most miserable, those absorbed in themselves.

Pleasure of Self-giving
Self-giving is to give up one's own concerns and the pleasure it might have given, for the unexpected adventure, and pleasure,  of following the other person's experience.

Inner Thrill of Self-Giving
Self-giving, a spiritual act of the being, can generate the thrill inside without needing the external stimulus. (MSS)

Self Giving and Delight of Being
Self-giving brings Delight/Bliss of being. (It is a joy beyond mere human happiness.)

Relationship Between Self-Givingness and Happiness
The happiest people have one characteristic in common --- they are continually giving of themselves. While most of us are fully absorbed in our daily concerns and routines -- driven by our own needs, desires, and ambitions -- the happiest of people literally lose themselves in the feelings, thoughts, and aspirations of others. For example, one man noticed that whenever he went shopping, and shifted from his own concerns to those of the person he was with, everything began to flow perfectly thereafter. Likewise, a stingy individual noticed that whenever he loosened up and spent money on others, shortly thereafter good fortune would come his way -- often in the form of inflow of money exactly equal to the amount he had just spent! Action Plan: Try a little experiment. The next time you meet with someone, immediately put yourself in that person's shoes -- concerning yourself only with what is on their mind. Listen carefully to their thoughts and feelings, showing genuine interest. Also, make the effort to control your own opinions. Make the effort to embrace the other person's point of view -- even if differs substantially from your own. You will notice thereafter that the other person has become energized, animated, and involved. You may also notice how unthought of points of view, or fresh perspectives are raised in the conversation. (They may in fact turn out to be more interesting and beneficial to you than anything that might have been on your own mind.) Shifting your focus to the concerns of others has this extraordinary capacity to attract freshness and wonder.

Self-Giving and Enjoyment in Others Coming to Reward
Self-giving is for its own sake, not because you expect a reward. Your enjoyment comes in the giving, and seeing another get rewards.

Adventure of Self-Giving
Self-giving us to give up one's own concerns (and the pleasure it might have given) for the unexpected adventure (and pleasure) of following and sharing in another's experience and joy.

Giving, not Receiving Love Enables True Happiness
It is not the love that someone feels for you that can make you happy, it is the love you feel for others that makes you happy: for you receive the love that you give from the Divine, who loves eternally and unfailingly. (The Mother)

Self-Sacrifice vs. Self-Giving
At the point it is enjoyable it becomes self-giving. Till then it remains self-sacrifice. (MSS)


Spiritual Nature of Self-Giving
(top)

Giving to Other's Self
Giving one's all to the OTHER person because he is a Self, is Self-Giving. ["Self" being the spiritual essence, the True Self of the person.]

Self-givingness and Soul
Self-givingness is a movement of the Soul, in which we recognize another Soul.

Self-Giving is Spiritual
Self-giving is a spiritual act and experience.

Self-Giving and Spirit
Active psychological Self-giving practiced as an article of faith brings one's Spirit to the surface of his life. (MSS)

Self-Offering, Giving and Spiritual Qualities
Self-offering and self-giving are the most beautiful acts that make Time into Eternity. It is the longing of the finite for the Infinite. (MSS)

Self-Giving and Spiritual Evolution
S
elf-giving is a strategy for spiritual evolution.
(MSS)

Self-Giving is Prayer
Self-giving is true prayer. (The Mother)

Self-Giving So Others May Expand
Self-giving is one giving himself to another so that the other may expand. Now man is expanding his reign through ego. For him to realise that the Divine should expand in human life and for that purpose his coming forward to give up his own enjoyment of thought or habit, is self-giving for him. (MSS)



Giving to Other's Self
Giving one's all to the OTHER person because he is a Self, is Self-Giving. ["Self" being the spiritual essence, the True Self of the person]

Giving Connects the Part to the Whole
Giving is a strategy used by the part to relate with the other parts or to the whole. (MSS) [An individual is only a part relative to the whole of all creation. When an individual gives, he moves from his own limited part, to another part and to the whole of creation, which is too the wider truth and existence, which is in essence a spiritual movement. -editor]

Giving is Strategy for Spiritual Evolution
Giving, or for that matter taking, is a strategy used by the part to relate with the other parts or to the whole.   Therefore self-giving is a strategy for the spiritual evolution. (MSS, abridged)

Self-Giving Enables the Divine to Expand in Human Life
Self-giving is one giving himself to another so that the other may expand. Now man is expanding his reign through ego. For him to realise that the Divine should expand in human life and for that purpose his coming forward to give up his own enjoyment of thought or habit, is self-giving for him. (MSS)

Enthusiastically Acknowledging Another's Experience
We enthusiastically acknowledge another person's experience when we have had the same or similar experience in our own lives. Otherwise, it is a mere thought. The spiritual individual on the other hand energetically acknowledges the experience whether or not he has had it. That is because his inner-orientation binds him with the interest, needs, and aspirations of others. They are always felt as his own.

Self-Giving through Soul Perception and Connection

One powerful way to experience the spirit is to express unconditional love. Other ways are to find silence and peace within, to experience an intense delight and joy of being (i.e. bliss), to know the true truth of things, to have spiritual knowledge and wisdom of the world, to create or perceive beauty, to live in timelessness, and so forth. Practically, the experience of spiritual love expresses by being selfless and being self-giving towards others. That is difficult to do, even for those we normally love, for we usually expect something in return for that love. Hence, it is human love, not spiritual love. Spiritual love is unconditional, not expecting anything in return.

One of the benefits of the self-givingness of spiritual love is that we experience great pleasure in the success and happiness of those we give to and care about. We know that the happiest of people are those who give the most, and that the unhappiest and miserable are usually those who only take.

How then can we be self-giving all of the time? The major obstacles are two-fold. One, we are locked in our sense of self, i.e. our ego. From that poise, it is very hard to be self-giving, unless we are a ripe soul, in which case we are self-giving naturally. However, by moving to a deeper poise within and discovering our higher nature, or simply by perceiving the value of being self-giving, we can give love to others unconditionally. We can move within through various techniques as meditation, self-surrender to the Divine, and other methods and approaches that takes us to our truest self and soul status within.

Can we do this with every person we meet or pass along the street? Well, in a way we can. We can try this technique. Each time we meet someone, or pass someone on the street, we can imagine their souls, rather than what they look like, their personality, etc. Just relate to their soul, and you will make a connection with them. People will respond to that. If you can also offer a gentle smile to match, the other person will be uplifted.

Just as you can find your own evolving soul within, so too you can perceive the soul in another, or an animal, or even an object like a car or a computer. Today I passed by an elderly man who looked like he was suffering a bit. I did not relate to his outer garment -- i.e. his looks, or even his troubled face, but to his soul. He responded with a gentle smile. Using this technique, we can be self-giving all of the time -- even to those we barely know. We should certainly try it with those we know. Life will become very rewarding for you, and the object of your soul-perception. Perceiving the soul in another is a powerful spiritual technique that anyone can try in his or her daily life.

 


Self-Givingness, One's Accomplishment, and Life Response
(top)

Self-Giving and Life Response
Acts of self-giving tend to attract powerful positive responses from life.

Self-Giving and Life Response
Life response is the phenomenon where sudden good fortune descends on a person due to an elevation of consciousness. It can come from a change in attitude, an intense aspiration for a thing to be achieved, to a decision, and to an action. One other way sudden good fortune comes is through acts of kindness, generosity, and goodness. We can sum them up as ''self-givingness."

Self-Giving and Accomplishment
Acts of self-giving accomplish the most. (MSS)

On Accomplishment through Selflessness and Self-Giving
-The opposite of selfishness is unselfishness or selflessness. Self-giving is of a higher order.

-As a rule, unselfish people will accomplish more than selfish persons. The exception to this rule is a substantial portion. They are those who are unselfish without the capacity to accomplish. Often they end up as dismal failures. It is not because of their unselfishness, but because of their incapacity.

-Parents who raise their children are mostly unselfish. A good many love to practise self-giving to their children. Giving one's all to the OTHER person because he is a Self, is Self-Giving. Such parents will not find their children falling a victim to social evils such as drinks or drugs.

In their minds, the thought of whether their children would take care of them in old age will not arise. Also, they will not financially need such a support. Mental Peace, which is the desideratum of many, will be theirs by virtue of the self-giving.

This is a general rule, not confined to family. Selfishness is capable. It can even raise a nation to great prosperity, but Self-giving will make an individual, family or a nation spiritually rich, economically strong, and socially great. (MSS)

Give in Abundance to Receive
If you want encouragement in your life, give it to others.

If you want love, give it in every way to others.

If you want success, encourage it in others.

If you want to be happy, focus on the happiness of others.

If you want to receive, give to others in abundance.

Life Response Power of Self-Givingness
Life response is the phenomenon where sudden good fortune descends on a person due to an elevation of consciousness. It can come from a change in attitude, an intense aspiration for a thing to be achieved, to a decision, and to an action. One other way sudden good fortune comes is through acts of kindness, generosity, and goodness. We can sum them up as ''self-givingness."

The other day I attended a meeting where people were gathered to watch a presentation. Sitting next to me was an individual who like me was eager to learn new things from the speaker. At one point, my neighbor turned over several leaflet pages to their blank side. I thought this indicated that he wanted to take some notes. I then wondered if he even had a pen to write with, since there was none present. A few moments later, he pulled out a tiny, thin pen from his Swiss Army Knife. It seemed a rather anemic writing utensil. I then offered him to use one of my pens, which he gladly and appreciatively accepted.

At the end of the presentation, gifts were handed out to lucky winners. Interestingly, the man next to me to whom I gave the pen won one of the larger prizes. Then astonishingly the next person counterclockwise to him at the table won the next prize. (There were a number of tables, mind you.) Then utter astoundingly the next person sitting counterclockwise still won the following prize! Now, I was the only one left at the table. As they were drawing, the astonished participants in the room were looking at me as the logical next person to win the prize! And wouldn't you know it, that is exactly what took place! And it turned out to be an expensive gift that I needed for my work!

From the standpoint of life response, an inner cause creates an outer effect. The cause on this case was my concern for the person next to me and his lack of writing utensil. When I observed his situation and extended myself by offering a pen, I performed a very small act of generosity that precipitated the astounding series of events that followed; breaking all odds. That is the life response power we generate when we practice self-giving behavior.

Here's another example I witnessed recently. In the film 'The Savages', we watch as a son and daughter care for their elder ill father who has Parkinson's. They (the Savage children) are both struggling artists, who have yet to make a breakthrough in their creative fields. The son is a writer, the daughter a struggling playwright. As it turns out the son is satisfied that they have put their father into a nursing home for care. The daughter however is not happy with this dismal arrangement, and seeks something better. Along the way, she discovers a much nicer home in a rural area. She then makes the journey to find out about it and apply for her father's transfer there. Most interestingly, however, is that when she arrives home, she receives a package in the mail with word that she has been given a very large grant from the government. It provides her with the money by which she produces her very first play -- on Broadway no less. From rehearsals, it seems it is going to be a big success.

In this instance, we see how an unsuccessful woman on the verge of poverty with no work in site is catapulted to a completely new life. Her act of generosity of seeking out better conditions for her father has attracted an overwhelming response in the form of the grant that provided the funds by which she would change the course of her career. It is the overwhelming life response power generated by sweet acts of self-givingness.

Breaking a Money Backlog through Self-Givingness
Self-givingness can express in a number of ways. Generosity, whether through one's inner intention or in a physical gesture in life, is an important one. It not only brings positive results to the recipient, including a relationship partner, but to yourself as well. In fact, I had that very experience the other day.

For over a month, money had been piling up for me. Not in what was owed, but in what was due to me. One unpaid amount was for $13k+, another for 5k+, a third for 1k. With every passing day, the receivables were accumulating, while my bank balance was dropping rapidly toward zero. During that time, I hoped and prayed that money would come, but nothing came of it. In fact, each time things seemed to move forward, circumstance would intervene and payments would got delayed. It almost seemed insidious!

Then in the middle of night, I woke up and thought that instead of focusing on myself, I wanted to secure this money because my relationship partner needed it. I sensed that shifting from my needs for the money to her concerns might help the situation. The next morning I went to my online bank statement and was startled to see that the money backlog had finally been broken! An amount due from my ever-increasing receivables had finally been paid; the first major inflow of money in a month! That sum would turn out to benefit both of us.

In this case, I clearly understood that by moving from ego and self, i.e. my needs, to the concerns and desires of another, in this case my partner, I was able to attract positive circumstances for both of us. It was another indicator how inward-oriented self-givingness has a great power to attract positive conditions from life -- giving support, strength, and sustenance to our long-term relationships.

Selfless, Self-giving Behavior Attracts
When we give more attention to another, or otherwise exhibit selfless and self-giving behavior, that person comes alive, and is energized to no end. What we do not realize however is that when we connect with others this way, we too derive great benefit -- in the form of inner joy that comes through the act of giving, as well as through unexpected bursts of good fortune to our person.

'Witness for the Prosecution'
There is a wonderful scene in the film Witness for the Prosecution that shows how selfless and self-givingness can evoke the miraculous.

Sir Wilfred Robarts, a master barrister and an elder man in ill health, takes Leonard Vole on as a client over the protestations of his nurse. Vole is accused of murdering Mrs. French, a rich, older woman who had become enamored of Vole, going so far as to make him the main beneficiary of her will. Thus, strong circumstantial evidence all pointed to Vole as the killer.

When Sir Wilfred speaks with Vole's German wife Christine, he finds her rather cold and self-possessed, but she does provide an alibi for Vole's innocence. Therefore, Sir Wilfred is greatly surprised when she is unexpectedly called as a witness for the prosecution. On the stand, she testifies that Vole admitted to her that he had killed Mrs. French, and that her conscience now forced her to finally come forth and tell the truth.

As a result, Vole is likely to be found guilty and sent to the gallows. And yet Sir Wilfred, loyal to the end, presses on despite the futility of the situation, and despite his rapidly deteriorating health. At one point, someone asks him if it is worth pursuing the case any further because it could jeopardize his life. He answers that the life of his client is more important than his own life, and he will do everything he can to pursue the truth.

Not a few seconds after he makes that remark, he receives a phone call.  It is from a mysterious woman who says she can produce shocking new evidence that will lead to the reversal of the case, which is in fact what occurs.

From a consciousness point of view, the phone call and presence of this woman is something more. It is a direct and immediate response from life to Sir Wilfred for having placed the life of someone else above his own. It is an astonishing act of self-sacrifice for which he is instantaneously rewarded with information that suddenly reverses the evidence and wins him the case.

This is no clever ploy on the part of the writer to create dramatic effect, but is precisely how life works. When we take to selfless and self-giving behavior, life immediately starts working on our behalf. Negative situations dissipate, unthought of opportunities arise, and other forms of sudden good fortune come our way. It is in essence the phenomenon of ''Life Response" in action. When we change our inner condition, life outside instantly responds in kind.

Becoming More Giving Attracts Positive Life Response
Whenever you shift your perspective from yourself to others, your energy increases, conditions for success reveal themselves (including positive life responses), and joy is released.  (This response to givingness also applies to a company that is more giving by being responsive to the needs of its customers, or the development of its staff.)

LIFE RESPONSE EXAMPLES
-
A tried to fix the computer keyboard of B. A did not succeed. However B felt a degree of gratitude for his effort and offered to compensate A for his efforts. Though thankful for A's thought, A  wouldn't accept money from B. A few days later B's computer went dead and it would not start. So the next morning B called A and asking him for urgent help to repair the computer again. A took it and very quickly was able to discover that the problem was the electrical adapter, which A managed to replace very quickly within 24 hours. B was very happy about this quick solution to his computer.

-Out of concern for the success of his people, a manager decided to train his illiterate workers. As a result of this they became so happy and energized. It permeated the business. Even the machines they were trained to work with on started to suddenly work better even though no improvements were made to their operation!

-A sales representative was having trouble getting an electronic payment for a product that was purchased from a client because the client had problem using the web-based payment system. The rep decided to give the individual the product before payment anyway. The client was grateful. The client then pointed out the dramatic fact that the phone number at the site was wrong on the main web page! The sales rep was very happy that the client caught this error, potentially preventing the loss of considerable business in the future. The client's finding of this error was a life response to the earlier givingness of the rep to the client.

Acts of Goodness Instantaneously Attract
There are several key factors that attract luck in our lives -- one of which are acts of goodness. When one engages in selfless and self-giving behavior, life tends to respond with overwhelming good fortune to our person. In each of three novels by author Jane Austin, an act of goodness changes the life of the heroine forever through the institution of marriage.

Near the end of Pride and Prejudice, Eliza Bennett shows her gratitude to Fitzwilliam Darcy for the effort he made in saving her family's reputation. He in turn most unexpectedly responds with a proposal of marriage, when she thought her family's behavior had disgusted him and he therefore no longer had any interest in her. They are thus happily married, and as a result her family come into a huge fortune.

In Sense and Sensibility, Elinor Dashwood showed an act of kindness very early on in the story by relieving a servant girl of unnecessary work that instantaneously attracts Edward Ferrars for the first time out of nowhere -- not two feet from her (!) -- who would later marry her.

In Persuasion, Anne Elliot shows deep empathy for Captain Harville's love for his beloved wife whom he must return to on occasion after long, one year commissions at sea, which instantly attracts a completely unexpected love letter from Captain Frederick Wentworth, which leads to their sudden engagement and marriage. Again, she thought he had no interest in her anymore.

In each case, a profound act of gratitude, kindness, and empathy -- three forms of goodness -- attract a powerful response that instantly turns the entire story -- leading to the joyous outcome of marriage for each of the heroines.

Life for us in the real world is precisely the same. When we look out at life through the eyes of others, sudden good fortune moves in our direction, as we now have shifted from the limited plane of ego to the universal plane, where our deepest aspirations are instantaneously fulfilled.

Self-Givingness Attracts Love in Scent of a Woman
Life Response (sudden good fortune) has many subtle rules, nuances, and peculiarities. One example of the latter is that if you shift your consciousness to the positive in one area of your life, you will often experience a response in a very different one. For example, when you finally get the courage to stand up to an abusive boss, life rewards you when a previously non-responding woman you have been wooing suddenly appears at your doorstep ready to begin a serious relationship. This ability to attract from one domain by reversing our consciousness in another is a fascinating aspect of life response. Here is another example from a film I watched recently.

In 'Scent of a Woman,' Charlie Simms is a student at a private preparatory school who comes from a poor family. To earn the money for his flight home for Christmas, Charlie takes a job looking after retired U.S. Army officer Lieutenant Colonel Frank Slade, a cantankerous middle-aged man who is now blind, alcoholic, eccentric, and difficult to get along with.

Charlie is distracted by a very big problem he is having at school. Three students have played a prank on the school's headmaster, Mr. Trask, by placing a balloon filled with plaster and bearing a profane image above his expensive car, which was presented to him by the school's board of trustees. Trask then pops the balloon, causing the contents to rain down on him and his car in front of the entire school. Only Charlie and another classmate, George knows the identity of the culprits, as they had seen them setting the booby trap the previous night. However, both of them refuse to reveal the culprits' names. After threatening both with expulsion, Trask tries to bribe Charlie by assuring him admission to Harvard if he names those who committed the prank. Charlie still tells him nothing, but is warned that he must or suffer the consequences for being a "cover-up artist."

When Charlie originally took the job, he was told that he would only have to stay with Colonel Slade at his niece's home and look after him. However, Slade had actually planned a visit to New York, and therefore enlists Charlie's help on the trip. He takes a room at the Waldorf-Astoria. During dinner, Slade reveals the real purpose for the trip: to eat at an expensive restaurant, stay at a luxury hotel, see his big brother, make love to a beautiful woman, and then commit suicide.

Charlie learns how Slade lost his sight by foolishly juggling hand grenades while drunk. Slade's crude behavior at dinner further alienates his brother and other relatives. Later, the blind Colonel tangos with a girl whose perfume captivates him. He drives a Ferrari with a very nervous Charlie in the passenger seat. Slade tricks Charlie into leaving the hotel room to buy him a cigar, but a suspicious Charlie comes back to find Slade ready to commit suicide with his gun. After a few tense minutes, Charlie is able to stop Slade from killing himself.

By this point, Charlie has become very loyal to the Colonel. Charlie becomes the sole person to stand by Slade, and defend him against the Colonel's own family. Charlie's loyalty is not lost on Slade, as Slade offers him advice numerous times and even comes to see him as a true friend. In their intimate discussions, the Colonel reveals that more than anything in his life he would like a good woman.

Charlie eventually returns to school, where George, is about to reveal the names of the students involved in the incident. Trask conducts a courtroom-like assembly of the student body and the Disciplinary Committee. He questions George, who with the help of his influential father is able to weasel out of the jam by claiming to be only partially certain of the culprits' identity, suggesting that Charlie might have had a better view than he did. Charlie then refuses to give the students' names, and is about to be expelled when Colonel Slade surprisingly enters and delivers a compelling speech on his behalf, revealing that Charlie had been offered a bribe to inform on the other students. Slade then wins over the students and the committee. The students who played the prank on Trask are placed on disciplinary probation, George is given no recognition, and Charlie is exonerated.

Now here is the part of the story that I would like to direct your attention. As Charlie and Slade walk outside of the school, a beautiful middle-aged woman walks up and congratulates them on their effort. Slade though blind is dazzled by her beauty and intelligence. He indicates that he would like to see her, which she seems to desire as well.  In fact, she seems to be everything he had (earlier) dreamed of. Slade then returns home. No longer bitter, he seems to have a new look on life, a new young friend in Charlie, and the real possibility of befriending the woman of his dreams.

In this story, a broken man changes his attitude through deep friendship with a student. He then offers his services when the young man is about to be condemned in front of the student body. That act of self-givingness instantly attracts the woman he so deeply yearns for now in his life. As we see, when we shift our consciousness to the positive in one area of our lives, we often attract positive conditions in another. If for example we have a deep aspiration to love someone and then act in another domain in a positive way -- through an act of self-givingness, or greater psychological strength, or higher attitudes, etc -- life instantly fulfils that deep, original aspiration. When Slade attracted the lovely, sensitive, and intelligent woman at the conclusion of the story, it was the final outcome in a process that began when he expressed his deep aspiration for such a person, and then self-gave of himself in another arena, helping a young friend avoid a catastrophe.

We too can utilize this approach, if we are first clear about what we want, look around and overcome a glaring limitation in our being in any area of our lives -- whether a poor attitude, ego and selfishness, poor organization, weak effort, lacking psychological strength, etc. Life will then reward our efforts by bringing the object of our desire, whatever that is, to our doorstep.

(Thanks to Wikipedia for their film summary.)

Rhonda Byrne's 'The Power,' Love, and Self-Givingness

In her new, follow-up book to 'The Secret,' Rhonda Byrne explains how constantly taking to Love will draw out the very best conditions of life, enabling us to fulfill our heart's desires. In 'The Power' she uses the term "Love" in a variety of ways -- from loving what you do, to loving others, to loving life. Taking to any of these forms will evoke powerful response from life, which is "the secret" of existence. Or to put it in Rhonda Byrne's terms, when you express your Love, inwardly and outwardly, you receive in return all that you want from life.

While skimming through the book, the thought occurred to me that what she calls "Love" is essentially what Karmayogi refers to as "Self-givingness." At each point, we give of ourselves to others and to the world, life returns the favor in spades.

We can be self-giving by-

  • Acts of kindness and generosity

  • Really caring for the happiness and well being of others

  • Being as interested in others as much as one's self

  • Showing genuine affection towards another

  • Enjoying their successes and happinesses as much as our own

  • Feeling goodwill inside towards others, and projecting it on them.

  • Deep listening of another's interest, intent, etc., putting aside our thoughts

  • Taking the other person's point of view

  • Not reacting to another's' intensities; remaining calm and centered in stillness

  • Avoiding discussing another's sore spots

  • Not complaining about others

  • Feeling and expressing sincere gratitude and appreciation

  • Feeling the Divine's Love and shining it on others

  • Perceiving the Soul in others as being the same as in ourselves

  • Feeling Oneness with others by first having that cosmic feeling inside

  • Consecrating every interaction we engage in with another

We can "give to life" by-

  • Accepting and embracing all that comes our way

  • By opening to all possibilities and embracing uncertainty

  • By seeing the necessity of each and every thing in the scheme of things (Karmayogi says it is to perceive 'The Marvel')

  • By taking to our work with patience, optimism, and cheerfulness

  • By aspiring for what is best for us

  • By aspiring for what the Divine believes is best for us

  • By increasingly aspiring for the Divine in our lives

  • By aspiring for real progress, growth and transformation in our lives at all planes

  • By sincerely applying all the higher principles that we have come to understand

  • By being a child of the universe; open to any and all experiences

Multiple Life Response Around Common Circumstance
We see how life response (sudden good fortune) unfold in single, individual incidents, reflecting unique circumstance related to that person, collective, or entity. However, if we look closer, we will see that life response often -- maybe always! -- comes in bunches around common circumstance. To show you what I mean, consider this example from literature and film.

In the 1999 Masterpiece Theater adoption of Charles Dickens' David Copperfield, young David in 19th century England has been sent away to work at a wine factory in London by his cruel stepfather. There he meets with the Micawber family, which gives him some relief from his gloomy situation. Unfortunately, Mr. Micawber, though a good man, is constantly in debt, and is at one point put in debtor's prison.

One day David out of pity and concern goes to visit Mr. Micawber. The older man is grateful to David for showing such kindness. In response, he tells David that if he were to leave the wine factory, he should visit his own aunt in Dover. It will turn out to be the most important bit if advice David ever receives. (I.e. when he leaves the factory, literally walks across the country, and meets up with her, his entire life is changed fort the better.) Thus, this great bit of advice from Mr. Micawber is a life response for David for showing such concern for the man while he was in prison, especially when he visited on that particular occasion.

But the life response outcomes did not end there! As soon as Mr. Micawber gives his precious advice to David, his wife immediately bursts in on the scene and informs him that he has been released from debtor's prison! Because he in turn showed deep interest and concern for David, life instantaneously responded with news of his own release. Thus, we see two interconnected life response outcomes occurring around the same essential event.

Now we can take this a step farther. If we were privy to Mr. Micawber's wife's situation, we might discover that when she received news of her husband's release, it was due to an inner or outer behavioral change on her part as well. And even in the future, when David takes up Mr. Micawber's advice and walks across the country to meet with his aunt, we would see that she attracted the boy she has not seen since birth due to her shift in consciousness; and through David's arrival, her life would change as well.

Thus, we see a closely meshed, interconnected series of life response outcomes related to the same essential circumstance. David's primary action initiated a startling series of positive events, each unfolding in the form of sudden good fortune.

Why Money Responds to Goodwill and Self-giving
Karmayogi frequently writes that money comes to those with goodwill who practice self-giving. Why? To understand why, we have to keep in mind that money is not a thing, it is a force. What is the purpose of that force? The purpose is to promote mutually beneficial relationships between human beings -- so people can exchange the fruits of the labor. Money is a force for human interaction and interchange. It enables one person to work hard growing food and exchange it for another person's labor making products or providing services.

Money is like language. It is intended to facilitate human interaction. Imagine a person who says that he will not speak to anyone because he wants to keep all his words to himself. What good is his language to him then? Money is the same. Language grows and becomes valuable only when we relate to other people. The more we try to relate and communicate, the more valuable language is and the more proficient we become in utilizing it. Language has the power to enable a single person to communicate with the whole of humanity. We do not hoard language. We do not try to take away the language of other people. We naturally understand that the more people speak our language, the easier it is for us to communicate. The same is true of money.

Think of money in the same way as a means for communication and fostering positive relations with others. Money grows when we relate positively to other people -- not when we want to take what they have or acquire more than others or feel superior to them -- but when we feel happy that everyone around us prospers and when we take active initiative to promote the prosperity of those we meet. Conscious acts of goodwill and self-giving put us in touch with the universal power of money and attract the force of money to flow toward, in and through us to the world around. The more we feel the urge to give it, the more it comes to us. (MSS)

Swinging to Selflessness Brings Vast Rewards that Overcomes Perception of Mundane World
An affectionate voice comes and envelops the hearer as a cocoon of peace, sending the hearer to blissful sleep. It is said that to be in the presence of one whom you love from the depths of self-giving, one feels sleep overcomes. That is not sleep. It is the meditative atmosphere that descends on the loving heart. After listening to all shades of such opinion, Man still feels, "A touch of selfish interest is necessary to survive in this mundane world of ours.'' This is practical worldly wisdom. It may be right for him, if he wants to be what he is. Should he choose to swing to an utterly Selfless attitude for a short period, he will meet with all the wonders of this same mundane world whose known misers act towards him with rich generosity, narrow-minded people offer broad-minded compliments. Doing is experiencing, not arguments advanced. To live for a short while, even if it is a day, in the poise of self-giving is to know Life Divine. (MSS)



Getting Things in Great Measure by Giving
The easiest way of getting anything in great measure is to give it to the Divine. Better still, give it to your fellow men. E.g. if you want affection, give your affection to others. (MSS)

On Affection
Affection flows naturally, cannot be forced.
Affection is an emotion. It flows out of an emotional heart; it is drawn by various qualities apart from an affectionate heart.
(MSS)

Power of Self-Giving Overcomes Infirmities of Old Age
The power of self-giving is so great that even the infirmities of old age change into the vigour of youth. (Self-giving is in the reverse order of taking which is biological and physical. The female practicing self-giving has to initiate herself in the spiritual plane. Medicines invigorate the body and prolong life. Self-giving is spiritual. Theoretically it must be capable of giving a new lease of life. Practically too, it is true.) (MSS)

Goodwill and Self Giving
The best way to escape and transcend the limits of ego is to feel genuine, intense good will for others and to practice total self-giving. To feel joy in the joy of another person is Good Will. The ego is highly competitive. It judges its own importance and success relative to the achievements of other people. When others accomplish more, it feels smaller, as if it had less than before. Therefore, to generate intense goodwill that feels happy for the accomplishments of other people is a powerful means to transcend the ego. Those who can ardently aspire for others to succeed and prosper generate the maximum receptivity for success and prosperity in their own lives.

Self-giving is even more powerful than goodwill. To grow by giving is Self-giving. Moving from selfishness to selflessness helps the being expand and increases the energy of the personality. To give oneself without any motive of return in thought, feeling and act is an ultimate spiritual discipline and path to higher accomplishment. That giving may be to a person, an ideal, an organization or to God. It is powerful when there is no thought or expectation or demand for recognition or return, only the joy of giving oneself.

Not everyone can practice self-giving. But everyone can raise their level of personal efficiency. This is a less powerful method that has a similar result because it gather and concentrates our available energy so it can be more effectively utilized. Efficiency is a laborious physical method. Self-giving is an enjoyable spiritual method.

Rising above the ego though goodwill and self-giving can invoke the highest powers in the universe to act in our lives. When we do this, the universe invariable responds, bringing what we aspire for. But when our aspiration is not selfish, the benefit comes to everyone, not merely to those who aspire. (MSS)

 


Self-Givingness (Miscellaneous)
(top)

Also See Thoughts on True Love Towards Others

False Self-Givingness
To remember what I have once given to another, maybe help, support, sympathy, valuable objects or money is to mentally INSIST on a sufficient return. It is NOT giving. It is a bargain that subtly demands a recompense. Such an attitude vitiates the act of giving. Such people always complain, "I have helped this man so many times. He is not grateful.'' The other man's ingratitude is not justifiable. But a higher truth is he does NOT remember your help because you REMEMBER it still. (MSS)

Gratitude matures into self-giving
Gratitude matures into self-giving by adoration resulting in delight.
 (MSS)

 


Our Level of Culture (of Behavior & Values)
(top)

On Culture of a Person
One measure of one's culture
is the capacity to make another person feel utterly comfortable and special. A cultured person has this capacity; as does a cultured society. It is a capacity for goodness. The depth of that culture is in another dimension.

Indicators of Individual Culture
Desire to be pleasant, remembering old acquaintances with pleasure, kindness, the capacity to be utterly truthful, the capacity to put the other man at ease, genuine goodness, unsuspecting trust, open-mindedness, inability to react will always reveal themselves to visitors. (MSS) [These are indicator's of an individual's culture.]

Culture

  • The way we express ourselves indicates our level of culture.
  • The way we treat others, respect others indicates our level of culture.
  • Culture expresses our values.
  • Ultimate cultural capacity is expressed through ultimate spiritual values.

Seeing Beyond an Expression of Low Level of Culture
A very ugly portrait of Churchill was presented to him on his American tour and he was asked to unveil it.

The portrait was so offensive that later his wife burned it. Churchill did not demur, he accepted the gift and unveiled it himself with a humorous remark, ''It is a remarkable work of modern art." One needs a generous heart not to be offended by the foolish acts of admirers.

Their low level of culture offends, but greatness goes beyond the appearances, sees the devotion behind it, values it, and offers the courtesy of reception. (MSS)

Culture as Indicator of Spirit
Culture is an indication of the spirit emerging, as it takes form as care for another's condition, self-givingness, putting others at ease, etc. which are forms of Love, one of the main attributes of the Divine.

Personality & Culture
In our own selves, as we know the origin of thoughts and acts, we can OBSERVE the course of acts and how our personality is centred in one place and moves in a range between a maximum and a minimum.

The minimum fixes our culture.

The maximum announces our possibilities. (MSS)



Traits of a True Gentleman of Culture
I shall list several of his [the true gentleman's] attributes as described by many, such as Charles Dickens. Cardinal Newman's long definitions are of special significance.

  • He is mainly occupied in merely removing the obstacles, which hinder the free and unembarrassed action of those about him. It means he will readily help others without waiting for others to apply for help. His incapacity to inflict pain and readiness to help are both refined and accurate.

  • In giving, he behaves as one who is receiving.

  • He concurs with the movements of those around him rather than taking initiative.

  • Newman says a gentleman silently confers on others like an easy chair that removes fatigue or a fire that removes cold. He does not make his presence prominent while he serves.

  • A true gentleman avoids all statements that would jar on the sensitivity of others. A clash of opinion, collision of feeling, an attitude of suspicion may thus jar on others. ! He is tender towards the bashful.

  • He avoids topics that might irritate.

  • He does not thrust himself forward in conversation.

  • He is never wearisome.

  • He makes light of favours while he does them.

  • He never speaks of himself unless compelled.

  • He never defends himself by a retort.

  • Contention, he avoids.

  • He has no ears for slander or gossip.

  • He is scrupulous in imputing motives to those who interfere with him.

  • He interprets everything for the best.

  • He is never mean or little in disputes.

  • He never mistakes personalities or sharp saying for arguments.

  • Nor does he insinuate evil, which he does not spell out.

  • He treats his enemies as if one day they will turn into friends.

  • He has too much good sense to be affronted at insults.

  • He is too well employed to remember injuries.

  • Nor can he bear malice.

  • He is patient, forbearing and resigned on philosophic principles.

  • He submits to pain because it is inevitable.

  • He submits to bereavement because it is irreparable.

  • He submits to death because it is destiny.

  • When engaged in controversy he does not blunder as he is endowed with a disciplined intellect. (MSS)

Uncultured Dynamic Individuals
It is always fascinating to observe how intelligent, insightful, creative individuals are often burdened by lacking culture; i.e. uncouth and untoward behavior; and individuals of impeccable manners and social graces embody utter falsehoods bordering on evil. It must be Nature's process and method of organization, enabling each to discover their whole nature beyond their current limiting status.

Untitled
A certain minimum culture is expected from all who come to Mother.
(MSS)

Also See Thoughts on Cultural Behavior and Values of Society


 


Selflessness
(top)

On Selflessness
We live our lives as if the world revolves around ourselves. It is built on a foundation of selfishness and ego from which all other problems follow. Therefore, from a true selflessness we can establish the solid base from which all felicity and luck can follow.

Selfishness & Selflessness
Selfishness is an act of organizing oneself for the security in protected limitations. Selflessness is the same act that seeks security in its opposite direction. (MSS)

Selflessness vs. Self-Givingness
Selflessness is the reversal of selfishness. Self-giving is the active pursuit of giving because you value the true self and being of the other individual as much as your own.

Reversing from Selfishness Attracts

At each point, we reverse out of selfishness, life immediately responds in our favor. We can make an experiment in the course of our day and watch for each instance of selfishness as it arises in our thoughts and emotions. At each point we catch ourselves and overcome that approach (even moving toward self-givingness), life will instantly move in our favor, whether in the form of more money, more work, new opportunities, and other ways. 

 

Milestone of Selfishness

An important milestone one comes to on the spiritual path is self-awareness that one is completely selfish.

 

Mercenary Attitudes Attract Negative Circumstance

Wherever you show mercenary attitudes -- such as in bargaining with a vendor or hesitating to pay a higher price for better quality -- life will respond negatively, and you will end up spending more money than was required.  

 

Not Forcing Yourself on Others

When you force yourself on others, life pushes back, often through sudden negative outcomes. Better to be restrained and practice calm, patience, and silence. Then life will flow much better.

Self-Sacrifice vs. Self-Giving
At the point it is enjoyable it becomes self-giving. Till then it remains self-sacrifice. (MSS)

Existence to History to Culture of Selflessness -- through Compulsion of Life or Self-Directed Spiritual Values
Time never stops. It is relentless. Its march is called the progress of civilisation. Century after century, decade after decade, progress continues. Thus the mere existence of Man becomes history. His mere existence is now denoted as pre-historic period.

As existence matures into history, history ripens into culture. Man was physical, selfish. Now he is mental and aims at being selfless. Man does not become selfless on his own.

He is compelled by circumstances to be selfless. When other tribes attacked, man organised collective defence, impelled by his own selfish security. The ultimate goal of that movement is self-giving, the Spiritual progress of the collective Man. The March of Time compels Man to be selfless and practise Self-giving.

Such a movement is there in commercial technology, education, democracy and the Pure Spirit. [E.g. in education he is compelled to expand that education to all members of society, including invalids. Beyond the compulsion of life to enable greater culture is our direct conscious spiritual will to achieve based on spiritual values such as self-givingness, oneness, etc.. This is the approach of the future. -editor] (MSS)

Giving & Receiving a Gift
It is a fine thing to give another a gift, especially if it overcomes one's selfishness or it comes pure without expectation. It is a greater thing to receive it unexpectedly, in that it is life response to something that is giving inside you.
 

Internet/Computer Supports/Expands Infinitely One's Service, Aspiration
Computer is such an innovation. Computer is an innovation that admits of endless innovations. The capacity of the computer makes difficult things easy, expensive things cheap.
 
Such innovations are announced very often. Hotmail was one such innovation. Someone had a big heart to offer people something essential for free. The result was Hotmail, which gave him the boon of $220 million when Microsoft purchased it from him.
 
All those who have a big heart that is generous can receive from the Internet such boons. This was not a possibility that existed before.
 
Even in traditional sectors, the Internet is capable of expanding existing operations. A man was selling second hand goods. He thought of using the Internet and called his site market place. It showed astronomical growth. In five years, he grew to a size of capturing the notice of giants. He sold his site to one of them for $225 million Euros. Maybe five years earlier he was not doing even half a million. Internet opens the heavens to human aspiration.
 
He who yearns for doing service will find his service reaching all the corners of the world when he resorts to the Internet.
(MSS)

Selfishness to Selflessness, Ambition, Aspiration
Selfishness changing into selflessness will change ambition into aspiration. (MSS)

Results of Selfishness vs. Selflessness
Selflessness and selfishness express in attitudes of giving and taking. Physically they express as comfort or trouble for the other. A selfless man forging a contact with another makes that man's life flower, while that of the selfish man results in catastrophes.

Selfishness and selflessness are attitudes in relationships. It is natural that each attitude has its own result. How does selflessness expand another's life and selfishness bring catastrophes? It is a question of energy. A selfless touch pours energy into another and consequently the receiver blossoms. A selfish touch takes energy and makes the object shrink. Hence the loss for the person to be touched. (MSS)

Also See Entries on Selfishness, Stinginess

MSS Thoughts on Self-Givingness, Selflessness, Selfishness, Etc.

 


Miscellaneous
(top)

The Ability of One's Consciousness to Flow Into Another|
It is more likely for one's consciousness to flow into another person, when the first person acts from humility, politeness, eagerness to please, etc.

On Gaining Respect of Children
What ultimately gains the respect and affection of a child or even a pet animal is selfless attention, affection, and love. (For the pet it is mostly physical, for the child it can be vital (i.e. emotional) physical).

Acceptance and Responsiveness to Others

Learning to simply accept what others suggest all the time can become a "Yoga of Acceptance and Responsiveness." At least 50% of us could simply use this method alone (ignoring all others) to grow, develop, and evolve in life. It is said that this is especially true for men.

Problematic Issues that Arise Concerning the Impulse to Help Others
-When we genuinely wish to help another, the ego enters the picture in a subtle fashion and offers the help. We miss seeing it.
-It is an invariable rule in human relationships - with very rare exceptions - that the beneficiary never fails to offend the benefactor. Inside the family and close friends group, ALL the problems arise ONLY from this rule.
-If one does his duty pleasantly without fail within the limits of the other person's good will, such an aberration is avoided.
-In intimate relationships, the idea of generosity is strong. One wants to give rather than take. Once it crosses the limits, the horrible rule I now described comes into operation. (MSS)

Goodwill for those who Harbour Ill Will
It is foolish impulse to help those one considers friends when they actually harbour intense ill will. Minor and major tragedies will only follow.
(Paraphrase of MSS)

Interest in Another in Letter Writing
Writing letters is an important skill for people in important positions. One simple letter, short though it is, written thoughtfully with consummate resourcefulness, secured the Cadbury franchise for an unknown company. It rarely occurs to a person that he should write what the other man wishes to read, not what he thinks.

When such a letter is received, it generates a rare pleasure in the reader. The receiver is transformed and feels the writer is a great man.

A letter communicates a message. It can be done from the other man's point of view, the work point of view or from the writer's point of view. Some insist on saying, 'I want it to be done like this'. The egoistic emphasis sours the reader. It spoils the work or stalls it. It can be said passively as, 'It can be done like this'.

It is inoffensive, but does not please. The writer can be generous in going out of his way to acknowledge the endowment of the other person and say, ''Your capacity to accomplish is well known." It can be said in a given context factually, without unsavoury flattering.

To dwell on the work instead of on oneself or the other person is to be neutral and causes no harm. Even that can be done positively or negatively. We know as writers of letters, the urge to put down our point of view emphatically and underline that.

That, of course, is to be avoided. Nor is tactless flattery welcome. A fact, especially the fact of recognising the other man's capacities or goodness, can be generously stated so that the reading of it will reveal the writer's generosity of emotion. It will not savour of flattery.

People blossom inwardly when their true talents are genuinely seen and recognised. In their experience, they would not have met anyone who has so acknowledged their merits. More than the wording, the TONE matters, as it issues from the subconscious intention.
(MSS)

The First Step of Divine Living
The first step in divine living is conversion of Selfishness into Self-giving to the universal life. (MSS)

 

Also See Relations with Others


Ego vs. Non-Ego
(top)

See Thoughts on Ego (vs. Non-Ego)

 

TO BE CATEGORIZED
 

SELF-GIVINGNESS OVERVIEW

The Journey Toward Self-Givingness

It is said that at the point we are unable to give, we take instead. It is the expression of the human Ego and its separative point of view. Therefore, at every moment we are afforded the opportunity to evaluate if we are selfish, mean, cruel, indifferent, hostile, etc., and make the conscious effort to reverse it. Life will surely respond to our effort.

Some people give naturally of themselves; that is, they seemingly are born this way. Others go through great change to develop a self-giving nature. Jean Valjean of Les Miserables evolved from a brute physical husk of a man trying to survive, to a life of selfless service and self-givingness. He accomplished this spiritual feat by making contact with his Deeper Self through a chance meeting with a man of the Spirit.

There is however a simpler method available to us. Constant opening to the spiritual Force is a shortcut to the process that Valjean took a lifetime to pass through. By opening to the Divine Mother and her Force, we tend to be more centered, less ego-prone, less cut off from others, and therefore more attuned to the needs of the people around us.

This power of self-givingness reaches its apex when we touch our Psychic Being (our Evolving Soul and True Self). Then our separate outlook, our ego-orientation disappears. Instead we develop deep harmonic feelings toward others and life. Then our natural tendency will be to give; to take deep interest in the concerns of others; to feel joy in their joys; to express our warmth, generosity, and goodwill at every turn.

As a result, not only will others be energized by our sincere, caring affection, but we ourselves will feel a deep peace and joy settle within. There is no happier state in life!

 

From Wanting to Giving

If you want encouragement, give it to others. If you want affection, love, and happiness, also give it to them. Moving from wanting to giving is the transition to higher consciousness. supreme expression of spirit in life.

 

From Selfishness to Self-givingness

I have finally discovered the high-road cure out of persistent selfishness: unbridled Self-givingness. It illuminates the day, and attracts the very best of conditions.

 

Reversing from Selfishness Attracts

At each point, we reverse out of selfishness, life immediately responds in our favor. We can make an experiment in the course of our day and watch for each instance of selfishness as it arises in our thoughts and emotions. At each point we catch ourselves and overcome that approach (even moving toward self-givingness), life will instantly move in our favor, whether in the form of more money, more work, new opportunities, and other ways.

 

Power of Putting Yourself in Another's Shoes

Constantly put yourself in the other person's shoes. E.g., rather than focus on your own situation, explore theirs further. You will not only create more camaraderie and a richer interaction, but you will quickly attract unexpected positive conditions.

 

Mind's Expansion in Consciousness Result of Self-Givingness, Hard Work

The Mind's consciousness and power seems to accelerate right after we engage in hard work or work where there is intense effort of service through self-givingness. In this dynamic, the vital being opens, energies are set loose, enabling the mind to express itself more creatively, dynamically, unexpectedly.

 

 

Self-giving (Higher) vs. Helping (Lower)

(from Romance Eternal, sister site of Growth Online)

Q: What is the difference between self-givingness and helping?  Isn't the attitude behind both same -- given out of concern for other?

A: Self-giving is an egoless act of goodness and goodwill among equals that expects no return, derives no egoistic satisfaction from the giving. Giving is its own reward. Helping arises from the idea of being good, doing good to others. It implies a sense of value in the giver, often a superiority of sorts, and a benefit in the recipient who is lucky to receive. The helper usually subtly expects a reward for goodness. True self-giving is spiritual. Helping is social or philanthropic.  

 

Strength & Self-givingness Together

Psychological Strength and Self-givingness together are a perfect combination for ultimate success in any facet of life. It is extremely rare to have both qualities in one person. Those who do, tend to have a big impact on the world.

 

SELF-GIVINGNESS AND DELIGHT

Happiness from Givingness

Happiness is when you want nothing, and you want to give. Where the wanting and desires end, and the sharing begins, happiness is exactly there. (Bhairavi Chiplunkar)

 

Doing for Others Brings Freshness, Energy, and Joy

When we do any act for the sake of the ego, it causes tension and opens us to pain. If you do the work for the sake of others instead, you discover the freshness and joy in each act.

E.g. when you prepare food, feel the joy and privilege of doing it for family members. When you go to the office, feel the joy of earning for family, serving the company, pleasing the customer, helping one's colleagues.

Self-giving converts effort into joy. (Garry Jacobs, MSS)

 

 

SELF-GIVINGNESS IN SOCIAL SITUATIONS

Letting Another Get The Upper Hand in a Discussion

When you accede in a debated discussion, allowing the other person to get the upper hand, you suddenly and most unexpectedly learn of or realize some interesting, higher truth.

 

On Interacting with Others

Naturally when we are we are with others, we are pulled into the outer life, and it is easy to forget our spiritual poise and techniques. Still even there, there is an opportunity for goodwill and self-givingness. When we develop a powerful inner life, we tend to be still in the presence of others; contributing only what is necessary, which is helpful to all concerned.

 

Take Interest in Another when First Meeting

The first thing to do when meeting with an acquaintance is to forget one's own self and focus on the concerns and interests of the other person. As a result, you will move from selfishness, from the limited ego plane into the wider universal plane and flow of things, which will invariably bring about the best outcomes in the proceedings that follow. In other words, life will cooperate in full by one's sincere deference to another.

 

What Self-givingness in Love Relationships Brings

We don't know what true love is; particularly in its upper ranges; especially in the form of Self-Givingness. We are more interested in receiving love than giving it. We don't see the benefit of the latter, which invariably brings soul-to-soul connection, deep delight, and inner fulfillment. If we focus on giving to the beloved instead than taking, then we can have all of these sublime results and more!

 

 

 

SELF-GIVINGNESS AND LIFE RESPONSE

The '5Gs' that Always Evoke Positive Response

There are five closely related behaviors that have a great propensity to elicit overwhelming positive response back to the benefactor. They are Self-Givingness, Goodness, Goodwill, Generosity, and Gratitude. I call these the '5Gs.'

 

Self-Givingness and Life Response

Each gesture of self-givingness is rewarded with a positive response from life. 

 

Aspiring for Success of Another Quickly Attracts Benefit to Both Parties

Having positive thoughts for the success of another individual or organization tends to attract great benefit for them (as well as yourself) in short order. For example, yesterday I expanded my values on a project to aspire for the well-being not just of my own self and organization, but of various other parties. Immediately after, they each on their own reported very positive developments in their lives, which were also helpful to me. Note: I hadn't heard a peep from them in weeks or months, but now out of the blue they sent word of sudden good fortune!

 

Goodness and Life Response 

Every act of true goodness serves the recipient, while attracting a powerful positive response back to the benefactor.

 

Power of Focusing on the Fulfillment of the Client

A wise associate friend of mine recently made the following claim: "Doing any act for the sake of the ego causes tension, opens us to pain. ... Do the work for the sake of others and discover the joy in each act. Self-giving converts effort into joy."

So today before engaging in a small consulting contract over the phone, I offered a prayer to the Divine Mother that the customer should derive great benefit from the service. I sensed real sincerity behind my aspiration, which is not always fully the case.

Though challenging and full of twists and turns, the two hour session was very engaging, and the issues were resolved through creative, dynamic solutions. There was also real collaboration amongst the participants.

In other words, as a result of focusing on the fulfillment of others, the session became FRESH, ENERGIZING and JOYFUL for me, and SUCCESSFUL for the client, just as my associate friend indicated. At each point, life seemed to respond with a new possibility and corresponding right solution that enabled these wonderful outcomes.  

 

Power of Putting Yourself in Another's Shoes

Constantly put yourself in the other person's shoes. E.g., rather than focus on your own situation, explore theirs further. You will not only create more camaraderie and a richer interaction, but you will quickly attract unexpected positive conditions.

 

Kindness and Life Response

Random acts of kindness attract unrandom positive outcomes for the initiator.

 

Giving and Receiving

At every conceivable point in which you give, life bursts forth and returns the favor in very short order. 

 

 

SINCERE SELF-GIVINGESS

Sincere Self-Givingness  (create kb entry only)

- Parents shower their love and attention on their children. But in return they demand obedience and perhaps some support in their old age.

- Employers may give salary increments and other benefits. But they will make sure that it comes back to them as increased output and productivity from their employees and as extra profits also.

From these and other examples of ego-based self-givingness that seeks something in return, we see why Sincerity is such an important value; whether in its practical or spiritual versions.

Sincerity in the normal human life is to do things with true motive, and in the case of givingness, for the sake of others alone. In other words, without the Ego taint and mercenary instinct. Spiritual sincerity is to take to the Spirit in oneís heart, in oneís active life, not just in the thought of the head; and further still to give one's self to the divine fully, which is Surrender.

How then to arrive at the state beyond Ego that fosters Sincerity? When one is in True Self, one is nearly always sincere, and the motives are pure, without Ego. Then the feelings are harmonic, non-separative. We are one with others and the world. When we then give, it is for givingís sake; not our own. Constant consecration to Mother can foster a deeper poise over time, culminating at a point where the heart and being opens sincerely, purely to life.

One true test of Sincerity is the responses we receive from the world. If we give to others and yet still negative comes back to us from these or related parties, then our conscious or subconscious insincerity has attracted the negative. If so, we can correlate it to the times we have given of ourselves, and see if we were sincere; pure in motive. If not, we can regroup, and when we do offer gestures of munificence, generosity, etc., we are able to do it from our highest consciousness, rather the mercenary instinct of the lowest.

Perhaps the best way to be sincere in our self-givingness is to give from within. To offer sincere, intense good will towards others and send it vibrating across space and time to the target parties. Sooner or later, life responds overwhelmingly to such inner efforts. Even there we must do a balancing act to insure that we do not offer Goodwill through the atmosphere with the idea of receiving something in return. Again, it comes back to the depth and height of the poise from which we act. Ego, or lack of it is the measure.

 

 

SELF-GIVINGNESS AND ENERGY

Increasing Vital Energy by Giving

Physical energy depends on what we give and take from our body. Vital energy depends on how much we give and take emotionally. The more we give to others, to life, the more internal vital/emotional energy we create.

 

Doing for Others Brings Freshness, Energy, and Joy

When we do any act for the sake of the ego, it causes tension and opens us to pain. If you do the work for the sake of others instead, you discover the freshness and joy in each act.

E.g. when you prepare food, feel the joy and privilege of doing it for family members. When you go to the office, feel the joy of earning for family, serving the company, pleasing the customer, helping one's colleagues.

Self-giving converts effort into joy. (Garry Jacobs, MSS)

 

 

  

SELF-GIVINGNESS AND CONSECRATION

Self-Givingness and Consecration

Motive of Service, Benefit to Others that Attract

Let's say we were to list out the motives behind a work we are doing. We might discover we are doing it to pass the time, to engage in something that utilizes our skill, which energizes and fulfills us, to make a living, to have social interaction with others, and to vaguely sense we are benefitting the client or other workers in the organization. Now let's say we shifted completely to the latter motive, and see the work as a means of giving others benefit, forgetting all of the rest. (We can further consider the very specific ways it would help the beneficiary, while also aspiring for their total success in those areas of common association.) That would have the effect of not only bringing deep satisfaction to oneís own self, but generate life response results for all involved.

In this way, we can take inventory of our psychological motives, and reprioritize them.  It can e.g. become a New Yearís resolution or a sincere pledge to a New Beginning. The level of commitment to and sustaining this new orientation and effort will make all the difference.

There can be a further step, which is to elevate our inner commitment of service to others through our association with the divine Power. We can constantly offer our new motive of Service and Life Benefit for Others to the spiritual Force to establish the very best conditions and elicit powerful, positive outcomes for all parties.

That can in turn become a bridge to a further stage of Service to the Divine alone and in total. I.e. offer ourselves fully to the Divine Will and become an instrument of Her divine Intention.  From that poise, we can elicit universal response that affects the collective, bringing intense psychological and material benefit to an ever-widening circle of individuals.

 

SELF-GIVING -W/O EGO

Self-Giving -w/o Ego

Self-Giving that is Pure, Without Ego, that has a Divine Basis

Self-givingness is giving for its own sake, not to support one's Ego. When we are in a higher consciousness, then the giving will tend to be purer; completely for the sake of the recipient. Connected to the Divine, the Mother, etc. supports this in our being. If we are more advanced on the spiritual path, then we give to the Divine alone, which is Surrender. All our actions of giving to others will then naturally follow in a positive way. They will be "self-existent," as Karmayogi says. I.e. fully positive without any dark side.

 

 

SELF-GIVINGNESS TO AVOID

 

Self-Givingness (when to avoid)

When Helping Others with Problems Causes Us to Develop the Same

Sometimes when we try to help people with their problems, e.g. health or financial related, we start developing the same symptoms ourselves. This indicates that we should withdraw any further help, and the symptoms will quickly vanish for us.

Examples:

"A few years back a man's neighbor was suffering from financial problems and health related issues of his family members. Often he used to come to the man and narrate his difficulties. The man who is deeply spiritual used to comfort him and give him advice on how to overcome those issues. Then the man started having problems. He had problems with respect to education of his children; two of his properties which he had bought after spending his life time investment were caught in legal issues; tensions started brewing in his family, and he lost his peace of mind. He approached a friend who was also very spiritual and had clairvoyant abilities. He advised him to cut all relations with his neighbor and stop giving advices to him. He immediately did that and within a few weeks things became normal.

This the man narrated that recently he told me that he has been suffering from some skin related issues, and now he was able to tell the reason for that as well. He had suggested some religious and spiritual remedies to a colleague of his, whose son was suffering from skin related issues."

 

Self-Givingness (when to avoid)

Factors to Consider Before Helping Others

When we help others, it can be beneficial for them and ourselves, or it can return negatively to us through subtle and not so subtle unfoldings. With that in mind, here are some questions to ask when giving help to others:

  • Is there any selfish, egoistic attitudes, intentions in it? If so, refrain from helping or giving.

  • Are our actions condescending, rather than constructive? (same as above)

  • Are there questionable ulterior motives involved on our part? (same as above)

  • Is it because of courtesy; to maintain relationship or social norms? If so, the benefit we give will have little power.

  • Is it is because of our inability to say no at the right time? (same as above)

  • Is the other person exploiting our helping tendency? If so, obviously we want to withdraw all further help.

  • Does our giving, helping others mesh with and substantiate our ideals, goals or principles? When people's values are at odds, then the effectivity of giving can lose all power.

  • Are your deeper intentions aligned with theirs; or at odds?

  • Does our giving and their receiving exhibit higher values? If it is to support another's lower consciousness, it is obviously something to refrain from.

  • Will it give material or spiritual progress of any kind to others?

  • Are we seriously looking out for the well-being of others?

  • Do we experience any mishaps or untoward circumstance in our initial efforts? Obviously then withdraw all further help.

  • Are they instruments of others ill will? (same as above)

  • Have they originally appeared in a disruptive, non-harmonious way? That might indicate difficulties ahead if you were to give to them.

  • Are we missing wider social forces that may abet or retard, work against our efforts? Often the wider social forces can counteract our good indentations towards others.

  • Are we missing past negative outcomes that we may be repeating? Examine if past giving led to negative outcomes. If so, withdraw any help in future.

 

SELF-GIVINGNESS - MISC.

Santa Implores Us to be Self-Giving

Jesus was self giving in the extreme, when he brought Love to the world. The three Wise Men also bore gifts, and thus also gave of themselves; in their case, to the divinity they perceived. Santa reflects this, as he brings us presents on the outside, while secretly offering us the opportunity to be Self-Giving to others in all aspects of our lives throughout the year.

 

Deep Listening and Empathy as Indicator of Conscious Life

It takes great self-control to not interrupt when another is speaking. It takes equal amounts of self-discipline to empathize with another when you have your own agenda in mind. Both indicate the capacity for of Deep Listening.

To demonstrate such behavior one not only needs a restrained ego, but deeply values and respects others.

It is one of the cardinal signs one is leading a conscious, even a spiritual existence. 

 


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