Friendship

On True Friendship

Our best friend is he who loves us in the best of ourselves and yet does not ask us to be other than we are. (The Mother)

Relations with Others From Spiritual Perspective

Broadening Our Relations with Others and Life

"Karmayogi says that we like only those people who listen to us and do what we say. In other words we get along only with those people who conform to our wishes and expectations." (N. Ashokan of MSS)

The Mind is greatly influenced by the pull of the Vital and Physical. It follows their lead, instead of the other way around. If life on the outside is agreeable to that perspective, it follows it. Otherwise, it withdraws. The same with one's relationship to others.

The sway of the desires and fixed consciousness of the physical is the root cause of our Ignorance. It is the basis of the limited way we pick and choose.

The way out is to open to a Wider Perspective. Then we open to all occurrences in life, to all sorts of people, not just to those preferred. Whether life and people conform to our position now means less. As a result, we have the experience of the widest Truth of Life, and its great variety of personal and spiritual benefits.

The yogic way out of this dilemma is developing our deeper Self, replacing the Ego self that is dominated by the vital needs, the physical habits, and the surface, sense mind. The short cut for the spiritually inclined is Consecration; opening to the spiritual (supramental) Force. It forges a Deeper Self, while opening up and checking the influences of our lower nature. It culminates in Surrender of our entire nature to that Power and Influence.

Now we move to an Integral Knowledge; a Wider Connection and Association with the world around us and others. We come to embrace the All (the Brahman of existence). Harmony with everything and everyone replaces the Ego's exclusive sense. Exclusivity of what we like is replaced by an integral existence. That Field of existence broadens to the greatest possibilities. We embrace all circumstance and see their utility, and get along with all who cross our path, not just those who once merely mirrored our preferences and limited nature. Life Response miracles consistently occur along the way, and we grow immensely through that process, experiencing never-ending Delight of being.

Relations with Others in Spiritual Life

On Our Disappointment When On the Path Others Do Not Respond To Us

Sometimes we who are on the Path are disappointed when others do not respond to our efforts to spread our happiness through our higher understanding, or they are simply not interested in what we have to say, or been up to, and so forth. With that in mind, here are a few thoughts:

-Through the Mother we develop such good-will and like to share it, but others may not be ready for that vibration.

-We have to accept others at their own level, and not try to force our knowledge or even share it if they are not so inclined (as again, they are not ready).

-Sometimes just remaining at their level with the best of intent for their progress is the best we can do.

-In Mother's Life we shed some friends, associates, and family members as we grow. Karmayogi says we will see them simply recede from us when they have no further role to play in our own growth.

-Sometimes in Yoga we are compelled to be Alone; i.e. have a direct relationship with our Soul, the Divine, and Mother. Karmayogi once said that Sri Aurobindo indicated that being alone was a great gift and Joy. Other times, our yoga is enhanced by close quarters to one particular person or through our relationship with a host of others.

-There are times when showering others with our care and good will can short-circuit their own development, or we can even go down a dark hole with them if we pursue that course.

-We simply need to be still and not react to their non-response.

-A's wonderful inner psychological act shows the Life Response power of right attitude and action in these sorts of situations.

-There is the principle of waiting for others to come to us -- Non-Initiating -- which will help in these sorts of relationships. (Initiatives can be withdrawn with them, while wishing them the best. Perhaps they will one day come to us.)

-We can still have a degree of inner relations with others, even those who are not inclined to follow our ways, or at least show no outer evidence of it.

-The vital Ego can get activated in our desire to help or share with others. We know the best form of help is given without Ego involvement.

-Other times the Ego is punctured when we are not appreciated or cared for. It can happen quite unexpectedly.

-Withholding our effort in these situations does, as M and S suggest, drive us toward the detached, equal state of the Spirit.

-Vital, social interaction with others can be eminently enjoyable. It is an acceptable pastime of normal life. For Spiritual Life it is suggested that it be withdrawn over time (in an elegant fashion).

-If we are patient, detached, and offer associative conditions to Mother, sometimes these sorts of relationships can turn around, and satisfy our deepest aspiration. Even old friendships abandoned can take on another life.