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Taking Another's Point of View

Knowledge Base

by Roy Posner and MSS

Overview

Taking Another's Point of View

Taking another's point of view is to see things from their perspective, not from one's own. It is a spiritual quality that creates greater understanding, goodwill, and harmony.

Taking Another's View and the Response of Life

Taking another's point of vies attracts sudden good fortune to one or both parties. E.g. a work suddenly begins working better, new ideas are revealed, opposition to one's view turns into agreement, better relationships are established. Moreover, each of these outcomes, come rapidly seemingly out of the blue from the most unexpected of sources.

Taking the Other Person's Point of View

Are you willing to take on this spiritual challenge? In the next few days, when you are in conversation with another, switch your point of reference, and take the other person's point of view. Switch from your own viewpoint by stepping into their shoes, and see why they are saying what they are saying from their perspective. Then continue the conversation from that position.

E.g. if you are discussing a matter, and a person shifts to another aspect of it, don�t hold onto your own thoughts, but shift to their flow of thought, determine what aspect of their lives they are addressing, and follow that thread. Don�t worry, somewhere along the line you will be able to address what you were earlier focusing on, or life will simply take you to a much more interesting topic of discussion. Also, by taking that tact, you will be energizing the other person, which will create a closer bond between you.

Taking the other person's view is to shift out of ego, which sees things only on its terms, from its own perspective. Stepping into the boots of another and seeing things from theirs is movement of harmony and oneness, a spiritual quality, which also tends to attract sudden good fortune from the environment; for the other person and yourself.

Here�s a real world example: A friend had a difficult problem that appeared unsolvable. His computer would not work, the battery would not open, and he could not find the manual. However, rather than insist on his position, he switched to another person�s suggestion, which was to look for the answer in the manual. This was the manual he earlier couldn�t find. However, he looked for it again, found it (in an unexpected form), and then instantly discovered the solution to the problem. That is the power of taking up another�s suggestion, which is to shift to their point of view.

Benefit of Taking Another's Point of View
To make spiritual progress, it is often urged to look at the issue from another man's point of view. This is the view of understanding of truth consciousness. Such an approach can have the ironic affect of protecting you from harm or difficulties coming from others though knowledge that comes your way, or otherwise be of great benefit or interest to you in the short or long run. (MSS, paraphrased and expanded on)

Taking Another's View and Life Response
Taking another's point of view, can evoke sudden good fortune from the situation. e.g. as a result of shifting to their view, they end up agreeing with a view of your own that they had shunned before. It is an example of life response in action.

Accepting the Other Person�s Point of View

Now we can see that accepting the other person�s point of view can be very unpleasant for both the contending parties and that harmony and unanimity of views can be achieved only when what is unpleasant to both the parties is agreed upon. Let us put ourselves in any one of the above 12 positions and see how happily we come forward to accept the other party�s views when it clashes with our own. (N. Ashokan for MSS)

Comment: It�s a wonderful list. We can find ourselves in it, and make the necessary change.

-Here it is presented as contradictions, which in truth are actually complementarities that can be resolved.

-Most are resolved when Ego is given up, which is the basis of limited knowledge. When the knowledge becomes integral, there is Truth. Taking another's point of view moves one from Ego to Harmony, from Part Knowledge to the Integral Whole truth.

-Constant consecration will help one reduce Ego as it helps us forge a deeper poise that breeds harmony that opens us up to others' ideas; to the many-sided truth of things.

-"Taste of Ignorance" that ties us to our limited, fixed opinions, and vital and physical needs and desires, and wanting attitudes need to be shed.

-This is a transformative process that takes time.

-It contains problems for the individual and the society; Ignorances that both must overcome.

-Sri Aurobindo says the Ignorance can only be turned into Integral Knowledge when we make the psychic connection, then make the spiritual transformation of the mind, culminating in the supramentalization of our mentality. Then we will be fully open at each point to the full Integral truth of any matter, which will also have a tendency to manifest through infinite-like results.

Taking the Other Person's Point of View
One of the most extraordinary principles of life is that the best way to convince another of your position on a matter is to take theirs! This mind twisting truth is no mere concept, but a lived experience that conscious individuals have had over time.  Here is a recent illustration:

Over the last six months, colleagues and I have had discussions about a potential expert system for the Internet. While several of us had developed a knowledge of human consciousness over the years, a newer partner had not yet had such experiences. Interestingly, when we tried to communicate that knowledge to our friend, it did not stick.

Recently that partner contacted me asking for help in developing an initial round of introductory materials for the site.  In order to express ourselves, we first needed to know what the purpose of the expert system site was, as well include the benefits users would derive from using it. Since we had not come to a consensus on what this was over the past half year, coming up with that introductory statement for the public seemed to require us to revisit that exhaustive process again, something I was not looking forward to.

However, rather than focus on our difference, I decided to simply embrace the mini project. In particular, I decided that rather than worry about revisiting an unresolved issue, I would simply take up whatever my colleague had in mind. Not only did I accept his apparent lesser conception of the system, but the materials I would develop would reflect that view. Thus, my strategy was not to impose my own position, but to embrace my partner's in full.

When we then had our first collaborative discussion, interesting things quickly started happening. First, he suggested that I include several of my articles at this introductory site. Though I struggled at first to come up with something appropriate, I finally thought of a relevant article. Then I developed a small summary of the theme for the article, indicating how this principle would be incorporated in our future expert system. But what was most remarkable was that the partner and I began to have a very stimulating discussion about that subject. In fact, he began to see the overwhelming benefit of the principle to the point where he was expressing unbridled, gushing enthusiasm for the idea! Listening to his response, I was dumbstruck by his interest and passion. After all, this was the sort of feature he seemed unable grasp in the past; and now he had suddenly become its advocate and champion! Needless to say, I was startled by this turn of events.

Reflecting on the incident, it was clear that because I was opened to his conception of the system, I opened the doors of possibility that enabled him to begin to embrace an important part of mine. By taking the other person's point of view, I opened the doors to a wider sphere, attracting good fortune for myself and my associate. By moving away from ego, including the need to impose, I attracted that which I was unable to garner before -- his full interest and enthusiasm on a once elusive principle. Through this pretzel logic of the Infinite, I had begun to overcome a conundrum and problem of the past, while opening the door further to an exciting and creative future.

Finally, when we take another person's point of view, we are not only doing the right thing, but we are engaging in a spiritual act, as we-

• shut down the mind and open to Truth that lies beyond our narrow perception.

• recognize that in every truth, the opposite is also true.

• move from our own separateness and distance from the other person to harmony with that individual.

• value the welfare of another above and beyond our own. 

Deep knowledge, truth, harmony, oneness, and self-givingness are various expression of the spirit that comes from embracing another's viewpoint. Moreover, when we make that harmonic effort, miraculous-like conditions suddenly blossom, reflecting the phenomenon of ''life response"� in action.  

Taking The Other Man's Point of View
-Taking the other man's point of view is to activate the Supramental element in the mind. Those who have tried it with bosses, customers, partners, friends and children have been amazed by the results.

-To be able to take the view of anyone we deal with in any matter as a rule is to take the view of life.

-It is a confined consecration, confined to one person. (MSS)

Taking the Other Person's Point of View
-Taking the other person's point of view is to activate the Supramental element in the mind.
-Taking the other person's point of view is the all-comprehensive power of life that puts the other person utterly at your disposal.... One will find when he succeeds that he will be treated as a VIP of life giving him the feeling for a while that he could accomplish anything he attempts.
-To take the other man's point of view is to take the view of life.
-Not to be selfish is to take the other man's point of view.
-To take the other man's point of view is to take the view of the Divine. (Paraphrase of MSS)

A Supramental Perception
Siddhartha's revelation [in Hermann Hesse's book Siddhartha] that in every truth the opposite is equally true is a supramental perception. (MSS)
Our goal should not be to win a debate, bit to learn from the discussion. Inner Silence, silent Will, and taking the other person's point of view are spiritual techniques that will certainly go a long way to achieving this goal.

Taking Another's Point of View & Life Response
Taking another's point of view is to shift from ego to Other, which attracts the sudden arrival of fresh, new, unexpected results.

Taking Opposite of Your Opinion
Opening to the opposite of your opinion suddenly opens from all quarters possibilities in areas you were earlier closed off from.

Reversal of Belief
When you accept the opposite of what you currently believe, then those whose views you opposed begin to believe the opposite of what they previously believed.

Planning, Taking Another's Point of View, Rejoicing in the Growth of Others
Man initiates the events, but rarely are they under his control. Planning effectively largely brings the work - a chain of events - under our control. This subject will teach him that men will largely come under his control if he takes their point of view. One who rejoices in the growth of others - the success of those who are working with him - will never come under their control. (MSS)

Overcoming our Blind Spots

After the independence of India and its partition from Pakistan in 1947, Jawaharlal Nehru led the country through its transition to democracy and a new modernity. He was a man deeply committed to his country, with a strong mind and a driving idealism. There has been no greater leader of that emerging Asian nation since.

And yet he was tripped up by one view that he seemed so sure of. He proclaimed that China was the very embodiment of his own high idealism. Unfortunately, he would be disillusioned not long after when in 1962 China invaded and run roughshod over his own beloved country. It was a blind spot of belief for sure.

In the 1920s and 30�s Western idealists railed at the corruption of capitalism, and signs of emerging nationalism and fascism both in their own countries and aboard. They were highly perceptive in their analysis, sounding warnings that the people of the world would fail to heed. Many of these same writers, thinkers, and advocates saw the Soviet Union under Stalin as a real alternative, a potential Paradise on Earth, in opposition to the corruption and greed of a money-driven West. It took Solzhenitsyn�s �The Gulag Archipelago� to fire the first salvos against this view. Since then it has been discovered that Stalin was responsible for the deaths of nearly 30 million people of his fellow citizens. He had that many shot and killed in a reign of terror unknown in the history of the world.

In America, it has been faddish amongst the conservative elite to proclaim that unfettered, laissez-faire capitalism was the salve of the masses. That wealth and profits of the rich would trickle down to the masses below. That theory proved to be a disaster, as we saw from the recent financial crisis that threatened to ruin the economies of the world.

Like nations, peoples, leaders, philosophies, we too as individuals also have blind spots that we are ignorant of and oblivious to. We dearly hold onto one or more critical opinions or beliefs that are in direct contradiction to the truth -- affecting not only our own selves, but the people around us.

Perhaps those closest to us see that blind spot. Or maybe it is someone at a distance who perceives it, yet cannot express it in deference to our feelings. Then who amongst us are willing to confront such �certainties,� challenging their truth worthiness? I am not sure if there is one in a thousand. If there such a person, then that brave soul is intellectually honest and sincere. For after all, who has the gumption to lay out one�s attitudes and values, and deconstruct them to determine their accuracy and truth-value? E.g., who would make the effort to go to that goldmine and fount of information -- the Internet -- and discover the relative or absolute merit of one�s most cherished beliefs? Whether we are a scientist, a leader, an advocate, or a parent, we are likely blind to something significant in our lives. And yet we are also capable of determining its veracity by gathering evidence from the world around us.

There is another approach to overcoming such ruinous blind spots. We can subscribe to an inner, psychological approach I call �taking another man�s point of view.� I.e. the next time you have a conversation or otherwise communicate with someone, make the effort to embrace the other person�s point of view, no matter how far-fetched. See a glimmering of truth in it, while releasing your attachment to your own entrenched position. Doing so indicates an open mind that seeks knowledge and truth in life; that is open to a wider domain of possibilities. In that way, it is a spiritual-like approach to one�s existence.

One interesting result of taking this approach is that it attracts sudden good fortune. For example, let�s say we have been invited to a party by a friend or spouse, but are not inclined to go. Though others have recommended it in the past, we feel certain that it will be a waste of time. However, when we shift from our entrenched opinion and embrace their suggestion, then when you arrive at the reception, several startling conditions present themselves. Not only do you find yourself enjoying yourself, but a long lost friend appears on the scene, energizing you to no end. Best of all, you meet someone who offers you a great opportunity in a field closely related to your own. When you embrace another�s point of view, life opens up and you are catapulted forward.

There is one other way to ascertain a blind spot. In the course of your day, watch for any significant negative conditions that appears in your life. It is a sure sign of something amiss in your being, for everything that appears on the outside is a reflection of your inner condition. For example, if an important project is suddenly cancelled, find the corresponding negative attitude or belief. It is a blind spot that has been there for a while, affecting present and past conditions. 

Deconstructing our beliefs, taking the other person�s point of view, and relating negative outcomes to inner perceptions, are three powerful methods to reveal and overcome our blind spots, which in turn will help us avoid a lot of pain and suffering in life. Will you then be brave and ask a confident, relative, or friend if there is something key that you are blind to? Or will you try to deconstruct several key beliefs to see their truth-value? Or will you fully embrace another's perspective today? Or will you take the time to consider how negative outcomes are direct reflections of wanting attitudes, opinions, and beliefs? If you make that effort, your entire life will be turned around, for nothing has a greater effect than identifying a blind spot and turning it into the light of truth.

Untitled
If we give in to other people's seemingly unimportant statements, blocking our own emerging thoughts, we find that their seemingly small remarks open the doors to vast new areas of discussion we had been only dimly aware of, or totally ignorant of. Obliviousness is then turned into fresh amazement.

Effect of Taking Other's Point of View
One side swallowing his ego to take the other side's point of view in a conflicting conversation opens the floodgates of goodwill from each side; at least until the gathered positive energy at that level is spent.

Taking Another's Point of View
Let us take a family where the atmosphere is quarrelsome. Let them teach themselves to look at the ISSUE from another man's point of view. Suddenly all quarrels will vanish. When the spirit is awake it is capable of seeing the other man's point of view easily. (MSS)

Other

Assent vs. Dissent in Communications; Utilizing Sri Aurobindo's Thought
The question of another and our answer are in the plane either as assent or dissent (assent is not different from dissent). When we want to please him and be pleasant to him, his dissent changes into assent. Any thought of Sri Aurobindo taken into a context and allowed to express itself in the context has that quality. (MSS)

Consecration, Surrender Supports Taking the Other Person's View
An attitude of consecration or surrender, it can be seen, will directly help one acquire what arises in one's mind or what is spoken to one. It is an attitude of humility of the mind to the subject he is listening or the person he is listening to. When we can listen to someone with such an attitude of humility, what he speaks becomes TRUE inside us. In extreme cases, the theoretical possibility is one can learn to be a genius listening to an idiot as the idiot is the inverted genius. One's attitude of humility makes the idiot reverse his mind to the other side of the genius which is withheld. (MSS)

Untitled
The Westerner discovered that pleasing the customer increases business. Though selfish, it is another man's point of view, a spiritual idea, as the Spirit considers the other man's profit as one's own welfare. (MSS)

Scale of Taking Another's Point of View
Taking the other's point of view is to acquire truth consciousness in that moment. Such an interaction can be understood along an ascending scale; from one's mannered tolerance, to the interest of an open character, to a oneness from a center within that knows no separation from their truth.

Consecration, Surrender Supports Taking the Other Person's View
An attitude of consecration or surrender, it can be seen, will directly help one acquire what arises in one's mind or what is spoken to one. It is an attitude of humility of the mind to the subject he is listening or the person he is listening to. When we can listen to someone with such an attitude of humility, what he speaks becomes TRUE inside us. In extreme cases, the theoretical possibility is one can learn to be a genius listening to an idiot as the idiot is the inverted genius. One's attitude of humility makes the idiot reverse his mind to the other side of the genius which is withheld. (MSS)