Perhaps the single most powerful way to succeed in
life is to have more concern for our fellow human beings.
Normally, we are overwhelmingly concerned about ourselves, driven by our
own personal motives and ambitions. However, the happiest people
literally lose themselves in the feelings, thoughts, and aspirations of
Are you ready to "forget yourself" and be genuinely
interested in the welfare of others? Are you willing to be
tolerant and kind to others, listen attentively and silently to their
words, and be non-judgmental and open to their opinions and points of
view? If you are, you are an excellent candidate for great success
in life, not to mention ever-increasing personal happiness and joy.
Try a little experiment. When
you meet with another person, try put yourself in their shoes. Think
only of what they are interested in and concerned with. Listen carefully
to their thoughts and feelings, and show genuine concern and empathy as
necessary. Take this approach for the entire meeting.
observe if the energy level of the other person has increased.
Also notice if any
unthought of or unexpected fresh points of view took place that
energized the conversation.
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But there's more. If you pay very close attention, you are likely to
experience an added "response from life." For example, during the
conversation, someone might call to report that a wonderful new
project has come up that you are to be involved in; or several hours
later you learn about a dramatic positive development in a work
situation that had been problematic for years. These are examples of
life "responding" to your earlier concern for another
individual. Through your kind, generous, munificent gesture, you
have opened the portals of possibility for yourself. By taking a
step out of the local domain of self-interest and ego, you have
opened yourself to the universal, non-local plane, where the
infinite potentials of life rush in. Such positive response to
selfless and self-givingness happens all of the time in every walk
of life, in every field. Here are several true-life examples:
-Out of concern for the success of his
people, a manager decided to train his illiterate workers. As a
result of that effort, they became much happier and far
more energized. That atmosphere was infectious and permeated the
business. The energy was so high that even the machines they
were trained to work with started operating at double their
earlier capacity, even though no improvements were made to their
-A tried to fix the computer keyboard of B, but did not succeed.
However, B felt a degree of gratitude for A's effort and offered
to compensate A for his efforts. Though thankful for B's
thought, A wouldn't accept money from B.
A few days later B's computer went dead and it would not start.
So the next morning B called A and asked
him for urgent help to repair the
computer again. A took it and very quickly was able to
discover that the problem was the electrical adapter, which A
managed to replace very quickly within 24 hours. B was
very happy about this quick solution to his computer. (B's
appreciation and desire to remunerate A, enabled A to quickly
fix the computer when it went dead.)
-A client was having trouble making an
electronic, web-based payment for a product from a company. The
representative out of concern for the client was willing to make
an exception in this case and give him access to the product now
because the client so eagerly wanted it. The client was grateful
for this response by the sales rep of the company, and then paid
for it through another means.
conversation ended, the new client pointed out the fact that the
phone number at the company's site was in error, a potentially
devastating fact for the company, who made have blundered and
lost a number of customers! After getting over the shock, the
sales rep was grateful that the client caught the error, thereby
preventing any future loss of revenue. (The client coming forth
and providing the news of the error was a positive response to
the sales rep's concern for the customer when he gave the client
the product without payment forgoing the normal payment
Whenever you shift
your focus from yourself to others, positive conditions suddenly
reveal themselves. Negatives are cancelled, unthought of
possibilities reveal themselves, and other unfathomable positive
conditions appear out of the blue. The more intense and heartfelt
the positive feelings are toward the other individual or party, the
greater the response from life.
In addition to
focusing on the needs and concerns of others, there are several other
ways to express selfless and self-giving behavior.
Take the Other Person's Point of View
Are you willing
to take on this spiritual challenge? In the next few days, when you are
in conversation with another, switch your point of reference, and take
the other person's point of view. Switch from your own viewpoint by
stepping into their shoes, and see why they are saying what they are
saying from their perspective. Then continue the conversation from that
E.g. if you are
discussing a matter, and a person shifts to another aspect of it, don't
hold onto your own thoughts, but shift to their flow of thought,
determine what aspect of their lives they are addressing, and follow
that thread. Don't worry, somewhere along the line you will be able to
address what you were earlier focusing on, or life will simply take you
to a much more interesting topic of discussion. Also, by taking that
tact, you will be energizing the other person, which will create a
closer bond between you.
Taking the other person's view is to shift out of ego, which sees
things only in its own terms, from its own perspective. Stepping into the
shoes of another and seeing things from theirs is a movement of harmony
and oneness, a spiritual quality, which also tends to attract sudden
good fortune from the environment; both for the other person and yourself.
Here's a real
world example: A friend had a difficult problem that appeared
unsolvable. His computer would not work, the battery would not open, and
he could not find the manual. However, rather than insist on his
position, he switched to another person's suggestion, which was to look
for the answer in the manual. This was the manual he earlier couldn't
find. However, he looked for it again, found it (in an unexpected form),
and then instantly discovered the solution to the problem. That is the
power of taking up another's suggestion, which is to shift to their
point of view.
Another way to
practice self-givingness is to give others greater attention. People,
objects, stocks of inventory, and money are but a few things that
respond to our attention. For example, if we give more attention to our
neglected financial accounts or to unsold stocks, money will fly in our
direction. This same approach works for people. Give them more
attention, and they will respond in the most unexpected ways.
instructor noticed that whenever he gave a little added attention
and encouragement to a slower student, the student brightened,
became more enthusiastic about what was being learned, and gave the
instructor a perfect score at the end of the day.
instructor one day committed to giving all of his students greater
attention. On the day of the class, before he had the chance to
implement his plan, all of the students started talking about the
subject matter in an extraordinarily animated way. In fact, for the
rest of the day he hardly said anything, as they were so energized
on their own to embrace the subject matter. In addition, they gave
him high evaluations, even though he hardly did anything.
When we give
others greater attention, we move from the limited domain of ego and
separateness to the wider sphere of harmony and oneness, where our energies
flow and align with corresponding positive
conditions at startling speed. Others benefit from our attention, as do we: not only from
the joy we feel from their positive experiences, but from the startling
life responses we enjoy in return.
Feel, Express Goodwill
way to be self-giving is to
express our goodwill and affection towards
others. Goodwill is a higher vibration and movement of life that
establishes harmony and oneness between the parties, attracting the very
best of conditions for both
felt goodwill for a business associate of his over several years.
Then one day, he was shocked to learn that he
had referred a half million dollars worth of business -- ten times
greater than anything he had done before, and therefore in return had earned the greatest referral fee of his life!
That is the
power of goodwill towards another person. It raises the quality of
the atmosphere and in the process attracts sudden good fortune from
the environment -- for both the beneficiary and the benefactor.
individual one day sat quietly and gathered his emotions and feelings and
inwardly sent vibrations
of goodwill and gratitude to various clients and friends around the
world. Soon thereafter, there was an avalanche of good news from
each of them -- in terms of sales, money, and other forms of
It appeared like a miracle of the highest
Feel, Express Gratitude
powerful way to express self-givingness in life is to show our deepest
thanks and appreciation -- i.e. our gratitude. Gratitude is the
expression of a thought in which our heartfelt emotions go out to others
for the role they have played in bringing good fortune into our lives.
The object of
our appreciation and thanks may be one other person, a group of people,
a social entity, or even life itself. (In its highest form, it is to
recognize a Divine hand at work -- i.e. Grace.) Because gratitude is a
higher emotion, a spiritual emotion and attitude of the soul, it has the
power to not only create deep, powerful bonds between parties, but it
can elicit startling life response results. Here is one person's
after completing a training class for a client, I handed a staff
member an invoice so she could find out when I would be paid. As I
patiently waited for an answer, I figured it would likely take 30
days to process the bill, which is common in business. In the meantime, I had struck up a conversation with one of the people who
attended my class. At one point in the conversation, I expressed my
admiration for the work Microsoft had done in the past: in
particular, how the company consistently went the extra mile to
ensure that each new iteration of its software was backwardly
compatible. That in turn has helped customers bring their older,
"legacy" data forward into the newer, more dynamic environment. I
then went on to express my sincere gratitude to Microsoft for having
performed this great service for society.
Well, at the
very instant I finished
that sentence, the individual appeared on the scene with word about
my invoice. However, instead of being given a future date for
remuneration, I was paid by check on the spot! In addition, it was
for an amount that exceeded my expectations. To put it simply, it
was life responding to my expression of gratitude to a company that
has brought so much benefit to myself and the world."
That is the life response power of expressing our gratitude in life. It
creates a powerful bond of harmony between ourselves and life, eliciting
startling positive response in return.
additional Growth Online thoughts on the power of self-givingness, click